Today is Father’s Day. I happen to be a father; have been for 21 years. But today is really not about me. It’s about my children and the pride and joy that they have brought to me as a father. There aren’t any funny/strange comments today, and there will be no snide remarks. Today my comments are all for my sons.
I have much to be grateful for; both of my sons are strong in mind, body, and spirit. They have grown into beautiful young men and are making their way in the world. They are smart, thoughtful, funny, and surround themselves with good friends who have the same nature. These are all of the things parents wish for their children.
Before my oldest was born I felt the pressure of being the last male in my family tree. An older cousin had a daughter later in life, so it was up to me to carry on the family name. When my eldest was born, my thoughts turned not to carrying on the family name but to the kind of person he was going to be. I had thoughts of playing catch, teaching him my love for sports, and watching him grow into a fine young man – doing something great with his life and making me proud. All of those thoughts came true.
When my youngest was born – a second son – three years later, I had the same thoughts but now they were doubled. I envisioned them growing up as best friends, watching out for each other, and turning double-plays on the baseball diamond together.
The relationship between fathers and sons is sometimes difficult. When they’re young, sons want to grow up to be just like their fathers while fathers dream of their sons being something greater. As the years pass and the sons grow both physically and mentally, a competition emerges. Now the sons want to become their own man, walk their own path, and fathers begin to worry their sons aren’t doing things the “right way” because they’re not doing it “their way.” Eventually they both come to their senses – fathers learn to enjoy the transformation that is happening as their sons grow from boys to men, and sons occasionally throw the old man a bone and ask him for advice.
My sons have both given me years of joy (mixed with a little consternation along the way) and have each found and cultivated their individual talents. It came on me suddenly one day that my eldest had surpassed my baseball skills as a sophomore in high school. I watched him at practice and it dawned on me that I had no more that I could teach him, but I also experienced the joy of observing that he played the game exactly as I had taught him; only better.
My youngest was not only a good athlete but had talents in music and acting that I could not teach. I continuously watched from the audience in amazement at his skills over the years, through many school plays and community theatre projects. I graciously accepted the kind words of strangers as they told me how talented he was, and I fumbled to express that I really had nothing to do with it.
There is one memory that stays with me constantly now. On opening day of the 2009 high school baseball season I watched my oldest son, a senior, jog out to his customary position at shortstop…and jogging next to him was his younger brother, a freshman, taking his position at second base. It didn’t matter that they didn’t turn a double-play because in that moment, watching them jog out together, was all that I dreamt.
Yesterday, as Father’s Day weekend was starting, my sons were on my mind more than usual. The youngest, a recent high school graduate, had received in the mail his final acceptance to the Honors College of the university he will attend beginning in the fall. The eldest, now a combat medic in the U.S. Army, moments later landed safely back home after a year-long deployment in the desert. They are making their way and making me proud.
Happy Father’s Day to me!
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