Be Reasonable: Race of Roaches

So a cockroach walks into a political convention…and nobody notices.

One thing political campaign season brings with it, along with completely unreasonable smear campaigns on both sides, are strange stories of predicting the outcome. For instance, the New Jersey Pest Management Association (insert joke here) recently held its 16^th Presidential Cockroach Derby.

The race involves two hissing Madagascar cockroaches with paper cut-outs of each candidate attached to them. In this year’s contest, held at Rutgers University, the Romney roach defeated the Obama roach.

There you have it. Issues resolved. Congratulations to Romney. Let’s cut the incessantly stupid political ads and move on…

Oh, c’mon “FortuneHost” don’t you know that if Obamacare isn’t defeated your 90-year-old granny will be taken out into the woods and hit over the head with a shovel by the death panel? Or that if Romney wins, it will be mandatory for the family dog to be strapped to the roof of your car? This is SERIOUS business!!!

“Trooper” I’ll be honest with you. I’ve looked at this for 15 minutes and I can’t for the life of me figure out what you mean by “#$%$ race.” I mean, what is it? Foot? Nah, Obama’s black so everyone knows he’d have the advantage. Dick? Nah…same thing. I dunno…I give up.

Haha! I love drug use references in my presidential politics! I mean, this would be quite a change. It’s been at least 20 years since we had a President that hasn’t admitted to using illegal drugs. Hell, it would be a scandal if Mitt admitted to drinking a Mountain Dew!