Race of Roaches

So a cockroach walks into a political convention…and nobody notices.

One thing political campaign season brings with it, along with completely unreasonable smear campaigns on both sides, are strange stories of predicting the outcome.  For instance, the New Jersey Pest Management Association (insert joke here) recently held its 16^th Presidential Cockroach Derby.

The race involves two hissing Madagascar cockroaches with paper cut-outs of each candidate attached to them.  In this year’s contest, held at Rutgers University, the Romney roach defeated the Obama roach.

There you have it.  Issues resolved.  Congratulations to Romney.  Let’s cut the incessantly stupid political ads and move on…

Oh, c’mon “FortuneHost” don’t you know that if Obamacare isn’t defeated your 90-year-old granny will be taken out into the woods and hit over the head with a shovel by the death panel?  Or that if Romney wins, it will be mandatory for the family dog to be strapped to the roof of your car?  This is SERIOUS business!!!

“Trooper” I’ll be honest with you.  I’ve looked at this for 15 minutes and I can’t for the life of me figure out what you mean by “#$%$ race.”  I mean, what is it?  Foot?  Nah, Obama’s black so everyone knows he’d have the advantage.  Dick?  Nah…same thing.  I dunno…I give up.

Haha!  I love drug use references in my presidential politics!  I mean, this would be quite a change.  It’s been at least 20 years since we had a President that hasn’t admitted to using illegal drugs.  Hell, it would be a scandal if Mitt admitted to drinking a Mountain Dew!

BOOM!  Taking shots at a guy who was never even running!  Nice job…

Talk about damning with faint praise…

Oh, but you guys got that one right…TROLL alert!

That’s clever “Curt” in a slightly bigoted sorta way…

Ahhh…finally.  Well done you three.  Okay, back to the “real” race…

Be Reasonable.

Eff U!

How many of you use curse words on the job?

Let me re-phrase the question.  How many of you use curse words on the job but won’t admit to it?

That’s what I thought. 

CareerBuilder recently conducted a study of cursing in the workplace and ranked the top cities according to percentage of workers surveyed that admitted to cursing on the job.  Washington, D.C. topped the list at 62 percent.  The nation’s capital was followed by Denver (60 percent) and Chicago (58 percent).  New York finished ninth at just 46 percent.  This clearly means one thing:  New Yorkers are a bunch of effin’ liars!

I live and work in Washington, D.C. so that percentage is not really all that surprising to me.  In fact, I can probably count on one hand the number of people I have worked with in the last 20 years that have not used “colorful language” on the job.  One guy I worked with used the exclamation “rats!” instead of cursing.  Come to think of it, that’s pretty colorful language right there so perhaps I shouldn’t exclude him?

At any rate, certainly a story about cursing on the job was going to generate some disagreements from the internet world, right?

Well “globetrotter” I seriously doubt any English teacher said “…they using curse words” but nice try.  I have a friend who is an English teacher and I believe her command of the language seems to give her an advantage in creatively using curse words.

Anyone else want to try their hand at the “holier than thou” approach?

Good one “Bobby.”  I’ve got to say that “enigmatic sounding monikers” sounds a little dirty…

“Wazsup” you look like you have something feeble to add…

How about a generational argument?  The article also said that younger people were less likely to curse at work than…uh…”experienced” workers…

Hey “soold”…first of all, learn how to spell “excel” and second…Get the eff off my lawn and pull up your pants!!!

Interesting put-down from someone who refers to himself as “Mrpeepeehead”

Ooooh…here WE go!  Look, I don’t know why “Bill O” felt the need to bring homosexuality into this discussion either, but I do agree that if anyone is looking for an argument, THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE!

Dammit “Tom,” it’s “cesspool.”  Please, if you’re going to insult us there is really no room for error.

Everyone cheer for the required political comment…yawn…

Oh, “White Devil.”  What the hell is “mokey boy nogger”?  Is incoherence your calling card, or is that a stupid question?

Well, I have no idea what either of you typed here.  Are you sure you’re speaking English?  Insults work so much better when people understand them…

Seriously?  I don’t really know what to say.  Can someone help me out?

Well, not really as “colorful” as I’d have probably gone…but sometimes subtlety is better.  Thanks “Scott.”

And thank you “EDWIN” for feeling our pain.  I have to admit, after so many years driving the beltway myself, it gets very hard to…

Be Reasonable.