Be Reasonable: Pillow Fight

I was talking with my friend Sweet Tea the other day when she asked me a question that surprised me: “Why do grown men get all stupefied over the phrase ‘pillow fight’?”

I know that I’ve lost all the men at this point, so for the all the women that may still be reading, I was surprised by the question because I thought Sweet Tea was already well in touch with the way ~~pigs~~ men think. Here’s what happens – you say the words ‘pillow fight’ to a man and immediately his ~~already sex-addled~~ brain conjures up this image:

We can’t help it; it must be in our DNA or something.

So I told Sweet Tea, “well, when we hear that phrase we imagine ~~based on every teen movie like Porky’s or Animal House that has ever been made~~ you girls in your under wear, painting each other’s toe-nails, braiding each other’s hair, when suddenly a pillow fight breaks out. That quickly evolves into light pushing, wrestling…which moves to kissing and…”

“ALRIGHT!” Sweet Tea stopped me right there. “I get the picture.”

I quickly changed the subject. But afterwards my mind floated back to the pillow fight conversation ~~as I imagined Sweet Tea and several of her friends painting each other’s toe-nails.~~ I wondered if there was anything like that in a woman’s world. But then I realized that even if a woman fantasized about men fighting, they were likely to be fighting over her and it would not end up the same way as a pillow fight. That’s the thing – we have no problem imagining ~~hot~~ women’s sexual “fluidity.” But sexual “fluidity” in men is another story.

Or so I thought. Then I stumbled on an article which challenged that thought:

The article also quoted a neuroscientist who had analyzed over a billion internet searches and discovered “…straight men do search for images of penises – especially large penises – almost as much as they search for vaginas.” So, are men becoming more sexually “fluid” or are those searches merely for comparisons sake?

Ohhhkay “Pally.” First, I’m not real sure whether you meant as a giver or receiver but either way it is not the kind of “fluid” we’re really talking about here.

Interesting “Joe.” You apparently have the only set of eyes on the planet that is able to filter out men from pornographic sexual images.

I’ll save you all the trouble of reading the next post from “KAS” here unless you really want to. I will just say that he wants to prove his superiority by giving a lesson on genetics, but then can’t bring himself to use the word “penis” so refers to “wing wangs.” Aaaaahahahahaha!!!

Anyone else want to float a lie out there?

I don’t think that’s normal “fritz.” You should not feel “disgust and loathing” over a naked body like yourself. Unless, or course, you weigh 500 lbs and haven’t seen your own “wing wang” in quite some time. Either way, I think you need to talk to someone.